The Beginning
I (eventually) birthed our baby girl into the world - in my bedroom, 19 days post dates (not OVERDUE, because babies choose their own timings).
It was a powerful moment for me, surrounded by midwives, my mum and hubby, in the birth pool, in the middle of the night while the older 3 slept.
For 4 weeks, the birth pool had been set up, to say i was excited and ready was an understatement. I thought i had surrendered - but oh boy, I had deeper to go. I had to really really let go of my expectations, I had to really trust my baby and my womb - they knew best. I went for a scan at 42 weeks, the midwife needed reassurance (and I think I did too). All was fine, so we relaxed, and I lent on my support network - my Mum was up, and I had a few friends online who were holding the space for me - i needed to surrender more - but there is no formula for doing this, its all energetic.
I felt like I was going to be pregnant FOREVER
I tried most of the typical, oxytocin boosting, bowl loosening tricks... nothing was bringing this babe down - she just wasn't ready.
And I had to find peace in that.
Of course - she eventually was ready.
After a day of semi regular tightenings, it was time. I headed to bed after a small dinner and I laboured alone in bed - and I read the passage in my hynobirthing book "you don't find animals pacing the hallways to speed up their labour" and so I rested and laboured alone. I told Mum and John they might like to get an early night - and lucky they did.
After 2 hours I felt 2 really strong contractions in a row, I told myself one more and then I'd wake them up.
That contraction sent me into shock. I woke John, told him to wake Mum and call the midwife!
I was now in shock - cold, shaking, nauseous. Mum gave me honey on a spoon - a great energy booster this is!
I then transitioned... but felt I couldn't let go completely. I was holding on tightly - I NEEDED the midwife here. There was some sub conscious belief that I needed a midwife to support me.
(in the background John was filling the pool - he had a few complications, and they told me it wasn't looking like i would be able to get in)
My magnificent midwife arrived, all was well.
But now I NEEDED to get in the pool - but it wasn't looking like i was going to make it. I was now pushing.
I lost my breathing and my control - up until this point I was having a calm hypnobirth, BUT now i didnt feel in control anymore.
Thankfully, the pool was OK for me to get in. It brought instant pain relief.
BUT again, I was something needed to change, and my midwife picked up on this. She calmly told me "Monique, breathe out your vagina not your mouth" and 10 min later I birth breathed our baby *surprise* girl in to the pool. It was so empowering, and exactly what I had visioned. WOW!
We were in love - thanks to oxytocin
We then snuggled into my own bed, with a cup of herbal tea, and she fed. What a birth, what a journey, of surrendering, deeper and relaxing into my support network.
When I look back to my birth, I feel so empowered, so powerful, so supported.
The lessons i have taken away from my birth;
🤰🏼 Surrender, and then surrender more
🤰🏼Surround yourself with support
🤰🏼Trust your baby and your womb
🤰🏼Breathe deep (and out your vagina)
The rest of my story (my fourth trimester) is to come another day. Writing this has been enough for one day. Thank-you for reading this far.
